I like holidays and whats is behind them. St?Patrick?s?day, Valentines day, the 4th of July, and Columbus day??. Columbus day? Yes, I like ?it too because Columbus found something by accident that changed the course of history. He was off to find a new route to the East Indies and found the America?s.
I found something by accident too, as does every man who shows up on Monday night with a penis problem. Friendship. We found it because we had to. We found friendship with Jesus, with men, and over time and continued health we found godly friendship with women, and it?s good. Through friendship, we found?acceptance. It?s a grace?disguised.
In one of my favorite movies ?is?Broken Trail. Robert Duval?is the sage cowboy driving wild mustangs from Oregon to a rail head in Wyoming with the purpose of ?financially?setting things right with his nephew. He has a great line when he say?s ?the best things that ever happened to me in life I bumped into in the dark.? How true is that? I don?t have good friendships because I am naturally good at relationships. I had to learn that. I have good friendships because I have to have good?friendships. They keep me alive. People heal you, they can, do, and will hurt you too. It?s worth the risk. In fact there is not much of a choice really because it?s through friendships that you come back to life. Isolation is the fear of rejection. Isolation is a white flag that leads to prison and bad food.
Ok, so we need friends to get better, how do you do it? Become the friend you want to have, and know that you can make friends only when both parties are ready for it. Let me give you a great friend making tip you can use for the rest of your life. ?I have found that really the only time that men are open to new?friendship?is when they are in transition. When they are out of work, they just moved, their in a new work?environment, they have just had a child,?experienced?a death or sickness of someone close, they?re going through a divorce, ?financial?failure, or a penis problem to name a few. Men don?t know they have a need until they, well?. they have a need. Most of the time it has to hit them on the head with a 2?4 for them to get it. I don?t spend my time in a new relationship unless I see a?desperation?in their eye?s. If it?s not there that relationship will never turn into the ?friendship you want, or need. ?I watch for that desperation in my own eyes as well because I know where I end up when I lose it,?so be careful. A man going after sexual freedom and not just an outward sobriety is always in transition, and is always open to relationship. So he is always getting better. Going deeper. Getting freer.
Relationships slide up and down intimacy scale over time, and that?s OK. That?s just the way it is, it?s life. You and Tommy who became blood brothers on the play ground and swore to be best friends for life, most likely aren?t anymore,?you drifted away like leaves in the fall. Things change, people grow, and do different stuff that changes our interests and geography. Let that happen, but keep a connection (Facebook isn?t enough) because you guys have history together and that takes time and your past together has great value. Don?t let go of those long term friends even if it?s limited to light contact. You never know, sometimes they come back around and will be even better and healthier than before.
People?regularly?surprise?me. They come out of no where and do and say profound things that connect us and make me happy to have run the risk of putting myself out there. Folks who are not willing to go any deeper hit a wall, so let them sit there. Something in the future may get them over it. Jesus could see the future in His relationships and He nurtured them. ?Hey, Peter, James, John, let?s hang out. They changed the world. You have that gift too. He is in you, so use your prophetic gifting to identify who to be in relationship with and how it will look and know that relationship/friendship takes time and it takes patience. It takes the ability to over look areas of weakness. You must be able to forgive. To be happy for their success, and to be honest. Call out the greatness in the friends you currently have. Raise them up, help them get better and it will return to you 100 fold. Oh, and hey,..your penis problem led you to friendships without?pretense?that you have always wanted.?Happy Columbus day.
Source: http://puritypursuit.com/2012/10/happy-columbus-day/
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